I will try...

I caught myself falling apart tonight. The thought of having to go through life alone scares the hell out of me. To some it might be a shallow thing to spend tears for, but for some reason, it wells me up every time I get the chance to sit and think about how sad and lonely I am in my own room, spending the countless minutes alone. As the deafening wails of loneliness rings endlessly inside my head, I could do nothing but curl into my shell of self-protection.

I need a tremendous amount of fixing. I would fix myself if only I knew how. Where are the lights to guide me home? This feeling of unceasing wandering, falling and feeling lost kills. Have I been dragging myself away from you? Stuck in reverse, I do not know how to move on...

I guess if tears became the valued currency in my world, I'd be saving up quite a large sum. But in a world like this, I'd rather be poor.

As the tears continue streaming down on my face, I wonder...

Perhaps it's really true that through the depths of darkness, you'd have nothing to hold on to, but that tiniest bit of hope, that slightest glimmer of light that you wish you could see and follow. You won't be able to see it with your washed teary eyes, so best wipe it off and be ready to catch that instantaneous spark. Only then will you be able to move out of the pits. Just know that through it all, you have never been alone.

XOXO,
CK

... to fix you.

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